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Your Questions, Answered

The team at fabic are a wealth of knowledge when it comes to childhood behavioural issues. Do you have a burning question? Email editor@havenmagazine.com.au and keep your eyes peeled for their expert answers.

Sometimes I feel that being proud of my child is somewhat taboo when speaking to other parents? Shouldn’t we all be encouraging our kids to try their best?

It really depends on what we are proud of our children for, as to whether it is so-called ‘taboo’ or not. More so, it is what children develop an awareness for, in relation to what they do and don’t gain recognition for, that must be considered first and has the potential to cause harm.

We must always remember that behaviour is not who a person is, it is what they do. When a person becomes identified by what they do, there will be guaranteed anxiety leading to future behaviour challenges, low self-esteem and overall poor sense of wellbeing. This is a contributor for children, teenagers and adults who experience poor mental health. Think about it like this: When a person is identified by their ‘thumbs-down’ choices, they develop a belief pattern along the lines that they are ‘bad’, ‘naughty’ and/or unworthy in same way. A person who is identified by their ‘thumbs-up’ choices can subscribe to the ideal that they are only ‘good’ if they choose thumbs-up choices.

A person is never bad or good. A person is always an awesome, amazing human who may at times choose thumbs-down choices while at other times may choose thumbs-up choices. Your child is never completely thumbs up, or thumbs down – it’s their behaviours (what they do) that may be. Recognition of behaviours (thumbs up or thumbs down) sets a rocky foundation for their future ahead.

Do you love your children because they got an A at school? They presented something on assembly? They wore amazing clothes? Or they won their soccer game? Or, do you love your children for just BEING them, the exquisite being that was there at their birth and remains until their last breath, and beyond?

www.fabic.com.au

About The Author

Tanya Curtis

Tanya founded Fabic (Functional Assessment & Behavioural Interventions Clinic) in 2006 with a vision to support people to understand and change unwanted behaviours. Tanya is an author, writes and presents behaviour specialist DVDs, and has developed online behaviour support programs // www.fabic.com.au

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