Heading towards Christmas we continue looking at the 10 ‘Life Changes’ supporting us to ‘Be Happier’. The previous ‘Life Changes’ are:
- ‘Letting go of Toxic People in our Life’.
- ‘Letting go of Regret Around Past Mistakes’, or what we consider to be mistakes.
“Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.”
How often have we argued our opinion or view point as being the absolute right way? We stand our ground, stick up for what we think and in doing so do not hear the other persons argument, opinion, thoughts etc. In fact we are so consumed sometimes in being right we simply do not hear them at all. When we hold on so tightly to our ‘I Am Right’ attitude or behaviour we start to build walls with those around us. When we build walls relationships can become strained and communication will breakdown. It can also be the demise of a relationship which didn’t have to fold. Wearing the hat of being right all the time will wear us down, we will have imbalance on the inside and be disappointed with our outcomes and overall health and wellbeing.
Of course there are times when we are right and very much need to be right. Teaching our children about hot food, fires, heaters, when to cross the road safely and stay away from the edge. However we often take our strong opinion of something into our everyday life and relationships. Often our ego gets so fired up with righteousness it’s relentless in who it takes down with it, just to be right.
There is a quote, ‘Don’t believe everything you think’. The difference between what is and what we think is, can be an incredibly difficult distinction to make. Our thoughts are massively strong and convincing when we are doing our best to discern the truth. Our truth and perspective will be different to other people’s (of course) and this is one of the best lessons we can learn. Our ‘right’, may not be the most reliable source of truth, (this is another lesson). It is however our truth, and we can easily forget this when we are fully fixed in our perspective. We become closed down to seeing or hearing any other way because we are so attached in ‘Being Right’. It’s not about believing everything anyone else says, we can develop a process to use our judgement and think others words through. Asking questions for clarity and being considerate instead of being in a state of judgement. Judgement can only harden our attitudes and take us to an ‘analysis paralysis’ place of being.
Ralph Marston said, “Let go of your attachment of being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgement.”
Tips for ‘Letting Go Of Being Right’:
- Create a plan or blueprint to operate from. Put the information we receive carefully through this. When doing this we are able to consider other people’s opinions,
- Let Go Of Being Right – do as this song suggests (even sing it to ourselves),
- Be open and consider other people’s points of view, really listen and hear what they are saying,
- Stop poking holes in other people’s points of view,
- Continually practice open-mindedness and reflection. Ask questions and repeat what we hear back. This is hugely valuable in any relationship (also great role-modelling for our children),
- Appreciate others people’s worlds with the way they think and act,
- Let go of old habits (firstly recognising it’s just a habit and we can change it). Know these have got us to where we are today, however reassessing is important in our growth and evolving,
- Ask people to repeat what they have said, we will hear differently and with clarity. This way we hear what they are saying instead of focusing on our own strategy to win or prove them wrong.
- Have a desire to make a difference in how we communicate; it will be better than what we have right now.
- Work with a coach and develop new strengths to support our growth.
When we appreciate other people’s worlds we give ourself permission to ‘Let Go’.
“Choose to be kind over being right and you’ll be right every-time.”
– Richard Carlson