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LIFE SKILLS

How in Control of Our Future Are We?

By July 14, 2014 January 6th, 2015 No Comments

deb2shutterstock_112708192_flipped-200x200When it comes to our future what do we think? Do we know what we truly want to do, be or achieve? If asked, would we have a clear idea and be able to articulate right now what we wanted for our future?

Build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs” – Farrah Gray.

Sometimes our answer will be yes however more often it will be, we don’t actually know. We wonder what stops us, what gets in the way of our future dreams and goals? Sadly, the stuckness that this creates can leave us feeling frustrated and disappointed which can sometimes bring on a feeling of isolation. Operating from this place doesn’t help us or our family. It creates a negativity with moving forward which can impact on our family and their future plans.

When we examine our past we know what we disliked and we know what we liked. As we reflect on our present, we also know what we dislike and what we like. When it comes to our future we can often get caught up in uncertainty about what we really want. The definition of Uncertainty is “The lack of certainty. A state of having limited knowledge where it is impossible to exactly describe the existing state, a future outcome, or more than one possible outcome’.

Steve Jobs has a brilliant quote to support achieving our dreams. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Getting that vision of what we want to have in our future is important. It can be a good clear picture with our loved ones in and there we are doing what we are passionate about. It can be achieving other things that are important to us and it can be what we consider to be a dream. If we are unwilling to get clear on what we want and put it out there it will never happen. So, what stops us from getting clear around our future? What stops us from knowing what it is we want? It could be fear or possibly just being concerned about what other people will say and think. It could be stepping outside of our comfort zone, you know that place that is warm and fuzzy and super safe. It maybe our concern with change and being uncomfortable with it or other things.

Any of these reasons can mean the same thing, by choosing to stay in that space where we are comfortable, fearful, concerned or unclear we are fully supporting the skills, behaviours and attitudes we know serve us now with where we are at. Therefore, to have a go at the dream or move out of our comfort zone, learn something new, meet new people, move to another town or country, become a minimalist, sail around the world or part of it, take a sabbatical or implement a different pathway we need to move from the comfort zone into the ‘learning zone’. If we want to have something different then we need to do something different, because if we always do what we have always done, then we will always have what we have always had. Now, for some of us this works, however for lots of us we want to get the dream, the new job, the new relationship, the adventure that has disappeared from our life we want something different and we want to be in control of getting it.

To take the next step and stretch ourselves we may need a variety of things, new skills, new ideas, new thoughts and a turning up of our passion. We may need to move seats in our ‘Bus of Life’and get closer to the front seat or even start driving our own bus. There could be some modifying of ideas to be done, or supports implemented to do things differently. When we are moving into the learning zone we have to pass over the panic zone, this can be scary, our thinking can be drawn backwards to “What if something goes wrong’, “What if we don’t make it”and possibly many more. The question to ask ourselves here would be “What if we succeed?”, “What if we do make it?”, “How different will our life be when we have it?”. The panic zone is a place where we can be petrified of or it can be a place we consider to be a natural progression when deciding to get what we truly want. We can be in control of our feelings if we choose to be and choose to see the benefits this step will take. We can stay in the panic zone for as long or as short a time as we want. A support exercise to to is to think of a time in the past where we did do something outside of our area of comfort and then look at the result it gave us . We would allow ourselves to fully be with that feeling and use it and the evidence of success, confidence, growth or gain to support us with this step.

We will arrive at the magic zone, where things will be different and we will have momentum to move forward. The magic zone will give us more freedom, better results, more pleasure and happiness. It will lift our spirits and our vibration. We will feel and look different and this will ripple out to our friends, family and all those we come into contact with.

Does change mean that we will lose who we had or who we were? It adds to us as a person. It adds to our development, growth and maturity. When we choose to deal with the panic zone and getting out of our comfort zone to aspire to what we want to be or what we want to have in our life we begin to shine even more. We become the star in our own life and we take on a new momentum and passion.

 

Tips for taking control of our future

  • Get clear on what we want our future to look like,
  • Connect with our passion,
  • Decide to get out of our comfort zone,
  • Consider which seat in our ‘Bus of Life’ we are sitting in,
  • Reflect on what motivates us,
  • What do we need to learn?,
  • What could we retrain at?,
  • Who could support us in our journey – work with a Coach, a Practitioner, a friend or partner to keep us accountable and support us,
  • Watch supportive information for the change “Do you Dare to Dream”,
  • Visualise our personal mission,
  • Set some goals with a timeframe and then release them,
  • Be aware of the way forward and the ideas and methods that need to be implemented.

 

Our life is about the journey not the destination, enjoy the growth and the changes that taking control of our future brings.

 

When writing the story of your life, dont allow anyone else to hold the pen” – unknown.

 

Debbie Hogg

Debbie Hogg  

Debbie Hogg is one of Australia’s leading coaches PCC/APC, is an award winning Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, Speaker, Women’s Retreat Master, Writer, Podcaster, Adventurous Hiker and is The Self-Worth Coach. Debbie is passionate in helping women manage their ‘Inner & Outer’ balance. She is co-creator of Life Skills Programs, assisting parents teach children confidence and resilience. Debbie knows that when we give ourselves permission to fully show up in our life amazing serendipities occur! She is mum to two amazing teenager daughters // www.debbiehogg.com