Instilling What to Do

By August 28, 2013 March 8th, 2017 No Comments

Q: I am having troubles at school with my child taking direction from the teacher. He doesn’t take serious the discipline the teacher offers when his behaviour is poor, and he still seems to be making the same mistakes of poor judgement in the classroom.

Unwanted Behaviour must by understood rather than judged while new behaviour must be taught and not expected!

A concern I have with many behaviour change programs across society is that the program is based on telling people what behaviours to stop rather than supporting people to learn what behaviours to start.

Further to this, rarely do people look at understanding the reasons why unwanted behaviours are being used in the first place. Typically people tend to “Judge” unwanted behaviours as poorly and cast their opinion on the behaviour rather than attempting to understand “why is this behaviour being used”. For effective behaviour change to occur it is essential to understand that behaviour is not random, rather it is happening for a reason. Understanding behaviour is paramount before changing behaviour can successfully occur.

All behaviour happens for a reason.

The reality is, all behaviours are happening for a reason and this reason is typically based on the fact the person is being presented with a situation they don’t feel equipped to manage. Potentially, there can be endless reasons as to why a person does not feel equipped to manage but a key reasons is that they don’t feel like they have the skills (appropriate behaviours) to support them to respond to the situation they are feeling challenged in some way by.

The image attached supports some basic principles to follow when we would like a person to stop an old behaviour and start a new desired behaviour.

The Key To Remember:
• Understand behaviour rather than Judge
• Teach new behaviours by ensuring every time you say STOP also say START



send us your questions on children’s behaviour to editor@coastkidsgc.com.au and put Kids’ Behaviour in the subject line


Tanya Curtis

Tanya Curtis  

Tanya founded Fabic (Functional Assessment & Behavioural Interventions Clinic) in 2006 with a vision to support people to understand and change unwanted behaviours. Tanya is an author, writes and presents behaviour specialist DVDs, and has developed online behaviour support programs // www.fabic.com.au