Fight as we may, we cannot change the direction of how thing are meant to be. Sometimes we find our selves in the funniest, oddest, most challenging or scary situations. Instead of fighting this, ask yourself, “What is it I am meant to do right now?”.


The more we fight our direction, the more unhappy we become. Of course, this will have a lifetime impact on our health and wellbeing. The physical upset or anger can put our body into a place of dis-ease. The fighting happening inside us upsets everything internally and can breed illness. Spiritually and mentally it can cause us to operate from a negative vibration, not only affecting us but all those around us. The ripple effect is massive.


Having great awareness around everything happening to us is a good place to start. Things happen for a reason. Often it will not make sense at the time and we find realisation can come later, be it a short time or years later.


Some examples of this might be when we are running late and we get every red light. Of course we must stop – we feel ourselves getting angry or frustrated inside. Green for go, and we are o again only to encounter yet another red light. Still the anxiety and upset builds. We are exhausted and stressed arriving at the destination. Even if we are running late, and even if we do get a red light, would it be helpful to be grateful for the red light and the space to create calm in the rapidness of time? Arriving in a calm space even if we are running a little late can support us in being our best.


Another way of looking at this type of behaviour is ‘flexibility’ and how much we use it in our life. Flexibility is another way of looking at the issues being placed in our path. Some examples of this might be:

  • Being at the shops one hour early because they open late in your new town – then using this time constructively to catch up on exercise (around the carpark), reading (iBook), meditating or sleeping to catch up on some much-needed sleep;
  • Meeting someone accidentally or randomly and it being the perfect person for us to connect with;
  • Being pulled over because the registration on the car hasn’t been paid and coping the fine – learning to get our accounts in order. Now we don’t have stickers on the window it’s challenging to keep up;
  • Having the landlord ask for money up front that was forgotten to be paid – teaching us to follow through with paperwork;
  • Missing the bus, train or the alarm clock not going o and not making it to work – many 9/11 stories regarding this;
  • Having to stay home because our partner needed the car and being able to have time for ourselves;
  • Being able to go out to a networking event because our partner was home to take the kids to school and then winning the door prize; or
  • Being a witness to something horrid to then taking this experience and supporting others who have suffered from the same fate.


We will find there have been many circumstances in our life when we reflect. We will have learned so much. Looking outside the box and being open to ‘What is making this happen, what do I need to learn or do?’ will fully support the changes we can put in place to allow ourselves to grow.


The dictionary definition of “flexibility” is: Quality of bending easily without breaking. The ability to be easily modified. Willingness to change or compromise.


Tips on going with the flow:

  • At a red light – practice taking good long deep breaths (so when needed, it comes naturally)
  • When given spare time (because we might be early to collect children from school, sports etc), stop and be grateful for the moment to pause
  • When having a moment, re ect, meditate and practice taking 10 long deep breaths
  • Listen to supportive podcasts to support change eg. www.thecoachpod.com
  • Give yourself permission to take time out – invest in yourself and take a retreat
  • Work with a coach to make lasting changes
  • Take the opportunity to walk on the beach for a long time or a short time. Go into the rainforest and breathe in the fresh air. Refresh, revive, re-think and re-energise.


Having flexibility and having the awareness of this in our life can fully support us to live in the now and be comfortable with allowing life to evolve.


Debbie Hogg

Debbie Hogg  

Debbie Hogg is one of Australia’s leading coaches PCC/APC, is an award winning Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, Speaker, Women’s Retreat Master, Writer, Podcaster, Adventurous Hiker and is The Self-Worth Coach. Debbie is passionate in helping women manage their ‘Inner & Outer’ balance. She is co-creator of Life Skills Programs, assisting parents teach children confidence and resilience. Debbie knows that when we give ourselves permission to fully show up in our life amazing serendipities occur! She is mum to two amazing teenager daughters // www.debbiehogg.com