To fully show up, be present and on purpose in our life is important for us to be congruent. The dictionary meaning for Congruence is: the quality or state of agreeing or corresponding. Therefore, to be congruent means; what we profess for ourselves to be true, needs to be fully supported by what we say and the way we act. It’s walking our talk. By saying one thing and doing another we are being incongruent. When we say something and follow through, we are being ‘congruent’.


“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision – Anthony Robbins


Making a conscious choice to be congruent throughout our life, fully supports in building relationships with our children, husband/wife, partner, extended family members, everyone. Making decisions and statements as a business person supports the values of the business. Walking the actions and speaking the language is imperative to the success of the business. We see this in schools, retailers, home businesses, businesses in the community, government departments and organisations.


“Congruence between what you say and what you do is the key to authentic happiness” – Paul TP Wong


For congruency within relationships, we both need to feel safe allowing the relationship to grow and develop. When people feel safe with us and we feel safe with them, deals and connections are made, creating growth. We know this is happening because of the way we feel and it is reflected in the different relationships in our own circles; a mum’s/parents group, hobby group, P&C, work group, our circle of friends and also being with our children.


When we see incongruence or we are being incongruent, it can cause many different reactions and situations. Being incongruent or feeling/seeing incongruence can cause nervousness in our stomach, sweaty palms, wobbly knees and we may even think limiting or negative thoughts. When we are being incongruent and not walking our talk, respect is lost destroying any relationship/s we have built. People see through incongruence and if we have our eyes and ears open we will notice a negative shift start to happen. It is in this moment we can choose to make a change.


Being congruent with our mind, body and soul is essential for everything in our life, our relationships, financial situation, health and wellbeing and more. It is paramount to our success in life and generally it is what comes naturally to us. Awareness is the key and if we feel things are starting to shift and change for us, having the awareness to stop and ask ourselves what is happening right now is something that could save us from getting into a sticky situation, save our business or even save our relationship. We can make that choice; we have the power to shift.


How do we know that we are being incongruent?

  • We could be telling untruths, which means the next thing we say to a group or individual is an ongoing untruth perpetuating the incongruence. We then fully take on this incongruence and live our lives like this.
  • We could unconsciously not be walking our talk, our printed promotional material could be one thing and our actions and language might be another, in this moment we personally might not feel we are being incongruent however others see and feel it, therefore damaging our reputation and our business.
  • We might simply be saying one thing and doing another….this is incongruent. This is the easiest way to loose friends, business prospective, partners, etc.


How do we know that we are being congruent?

  • Things flow really well and feel comfortable.
  • We are approachable and clients, friends, colleagues and our children will feel fully comfortable in sharing any issues, challenges or be able to question and share easily.
  • We operate a successful and growing business.
  • If we have staff they are confident and happy.
  • Friends are plentiful, we feel worthy, confident, happy and content with what life has given us.


Lastly, to really know we are fully showing up and stepping into our power we could go hang out with some animals. Yes, animals have senses far higher than ours and know in an instant if we are being congruent or not. I have had three experiences with horses that have been fascinating and enlightening. For a brief introduction, click here – http://bit.ly/1KrfcKw


“Be Congruent – you feel good when who you are equals with who you want to be” – unknown


Debbie Hogg

Debbie Hogg  

Debbie Hogg is one of Australia’s leading coaches PCC/APC, is an award winning Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, Speaker, Women’s Retreat Master, Writer, Podcaster, Adventurous Hiker and is The Self-Worth Coach. Debbie is passionate in helping women manage their ‘Inner & Outer’ balance. She is co-creator of Life Skills Programs, assisting parents teach children confidence and resilience. Debbie knows that when we give ourselves permission to fully show up in our life amazing serendipities occur! She is mum to two amazing teenager daughters // www.debbiehogg.com