When we fully show up and love ourself we start attracting more of what we want in life. We get the results, we meet the people and we get the opportunities we desire. Our life is ours to live. We are in control of our thoughts and the direction we go.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be
and embracing who we are”.
– Brene Brown
On 16th April 1959, Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday wrote about self-love. “As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is ‘Love of Oneself”. Also the lyrics from Nat King Cole’s song Nature Boy from 1947, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return”, supports the importance of focusing on ourself and loving ourself.
So many people tell us about our strengths and talents, they share it out loud for others to hear in our presence. You are clever, amazing, awesome and special, worthwhile, intelligent, fun and fabulous. Often instead of being thankful and taking it on board, we rebuff and push back the complement. Why is it we listen to the one person who thinks we are not – ourself? Generally giving to ourself seems to be extremely difficult for some. We give to our family, friends and even neighbours before giving to ourself. We tend to easily put ourself at the bottom of the pile of chores, responsibilities and very important things we feel we need to do. Back in the 1950’s it was referred to as the burnt chop syndrome. Unfortunately in 2016, we are still doing it.
The downside to constantly putting ourself on the bottom is our self-esteem and self-confidence suffers hugely. We may start to feel hard done by, uncared for, walked all over and even unloved. Some of us might refer to it as being a ‘door mat’. “Having low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on”, Maxwell Maltz once quoted. If we don’t listen to our body and dismiss the results of our thinking we will often end up with a malfunction. Yes, we can support our body towards dis-ease very easily with these types of thoughts. Negative thinking, speaking and playing the victim will create this. If we think we are unworthy, we will act unworthy, this can only be our story, because we have owned it and we continue day after day to show up on stage and continue playing it out. We get so good at playing it out on stage every day; it becomes our ‘norm’.
Can we choose to design another story for ourselves? Absolutely! Will it be easy? It will be as easy as we want it to be. It depends on how much we want the change. If we were to describe this change what would it look like? Paint the picture as if we were the artist with the brush or directing the movie of our life. We can, if we want it enough, change the direction or our life.
Sometimes, its small changes that make a big difference and sometimes bigger adjustments are needed. As Mary-Kay Ash once said, “If you think you can you can, if you think you can’t your right’.
The best place to start is by looking at our life, what do we want to have in our life? What do we already have and where is the gap, just like a gap analyse in business. Now, what needs to shift first to start making changes? Remembering little steps are the best place to start.
Ideas for ‘Loving Self’…
- Start by loving ourself, every morning look in the mirror and say ‘I love you’, it will be challenging in the beginning, however every day it will get easier and then we start to believe it,
- Trust our intuition as it will lead us where we are meant to be,
- Taking the time to fully immerse in ‘time for self’ to check in on direction, goals and desires,
- Regularly vision what life will look like – picture doing, smelly and feeling it – this helps manifest,
- Take an ‘Inspirational Living Retreat’ to focus on self and support any change of direction,
- Work with a Coach to fully support how to love ourself more,
- Give ourself one hour a week, 10 minutes a day, 1 day a month – something, anything to start supporting ourself,
- Journal thoughts, being grateful and even what differences are happening,
- Join a group of likeminded people and enjoy the support offered,
- Read personal development books, listen to podcasts – any development is supportive,
- Have a regular massage – releasing toxins and negative emotions,
- Watch Ted Talks for inspiration, support and new learnings – Brene Brown recommended watching this clip.
Being our best and loving ourself creates fulfilment towards our life purpose – enjoy the ride.
“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.”
– Brene Brown