‘Love me tinder’ is a modern day fairytale. Our writer, ‘KellysGirl70’, is a single mum in her forties with two kids who has recently ventured into the crazy world of Tinder and online dating to discover if her true prince can be found in cyberspace…

After 18 months of doing the dutiful single mum stuff like mastering the art of putting Ikea furniture together myself (and only breaking one nail #winning), I figured the time had come to get out onto the dating scene. But with two kids at home most of the time and my lack of enthusiasm for mingling with 20-somethings in smoky night clubs, I figured I had to join the many over 40’s who are mastering the dating game online. So, after a few glasses of champagne for Dutch courage, I managed to find some half-decent selfies, applied the neccessary filters (c’mon you all do it!) and within 10 minutes I was officially online.

I sat with my girlfriend and, with glass in hand, watched my phone as the first guy popped onto the screen. I can’t tell you how much fun we had swiping left at all the men who popped up and, oh, how many there were. I have to say there were quite a few dodgy-looking geezers and some pretty ne ones too! It didn’t take long before I was swiping left and right like a windscreen wiper. There were short ones, bearded ones, ones o ering pictures of their kids (who does that?!) and even naked ones – you really never know what’s going to pop up. It was certainly a mixed bag and I felt like I was in a candy shop. In fact, in that moment, online ‘shopping’ for men was almost better than online shopping for shoes!

You can imagine my suprise though, while I was happily swiping away that night, to see my ex-husband’s face pop up! No, I was not expecting that. I quickly swiped left and wondered if he would have seen my pro le? Now there is nothing wrong with either of us online dating but, to be honest, his was the last face I expected to see as he is a complete technophobe and hates Facebook! I gured he wouldn’t have seen my pro le anyway and so I carried on.

The following morning I had to message my ex about the kids and at the end of the text conversation he politely wrote “Nice pro le. I was going to swipe right but thought better of it!”. You can imagine my complete embarrasment. I wrote back, “Well I can see you’re still lying about your age” (he had shaved nine years o his age and, as a footnote, he lied about his age when we rst met too!). The moral of this little story, dear fellow online daters, is don’t trust what you see online. Always take it with a grain of salt.

You’ll be pleased to know however, it wasn’t long before I got my first match. Turns out the guy was a policeman and he liked to send me little video chats instead of texting, which was pretty cute. But I soon realised my name was never used in his videos so who knows how many girls they were being sent to? We did meet up but it became quite clear that he was more interested in taking down my particulars. Oh dear. Not quite the prince I was looking for. Block that one. Time to start swiping again…

Words: KellysGirl70



haven is all about family, life and style in Brisbane's inner city suburbs, the Gold Coast, south to Byron Bay. We have been keeping parents in the know for over eight years, with fun, fresh and helpful stories that they can take tips from or treasure in their own library.