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When I think of Christmas, I instantly feel as though I am covered in a film of sweat. It’s an exciting time – the lights, the food, the beautiful looks on our kids’ faces, the joy of giving… blah blah blah.

But it’s the heat.

I always feel as though I’m a sweaty mess in the Silly Season. Hot and bothered in the car parks of shopping centres, trying not to lose my cool as I hunt down an appropriate park. Stalking other shoppers with sweat on my brow as they return to their cars, but trying to give them the eye to hurry the hell up.

Chasing the air conditioning vents through the shopping centres as I waddle my way back to Target or Kmart to get yet another forgotten present. Hot and sticky in an elf hat as I juggle fake candles and slippery candy canes as we attempt to remember the words to carols. Covered in sticky tape and ribbon as I spend all of Christmas Eve trying to find and then wrap all the presents I bought leading up to the Heat-Filled Day.

Why is it that in 30-degree weather we think it’s still a good idea to cook a full roast meal with all the trimmings? Ovens and grills, barbecues and crock pots pushed to the max, we create hot potatoes, several forms of carcass, crackling, gravy made from scratch etc. Sweat, sweat, heat and more sweat.

A couple of years ago we got a Turducken – that’s a turkey inside a duck inside a chicken. Yes, there is such a thing. Three forms of bird, all crammed together into one oven. I was too hot at the end of the day to try one type of stuffing, let alone three!

I know I’m not alone in this feeling. That’s why there are so many people grabbing prawns early and why ice machines are running quicker than Usain Bolt through the “Season of Sweat.”

We decided to change the time of our family gathering a couple of years ago. It is now a Major Do at Night. The day is set aside for our kids and their presents, a bit of a lay around (in air con) and then we head out altogether to celebrate as the (stinking) sun goes down. It does make quite a difference. We’re all a little bit more relaxed and not fighting for the fans or to stand in front of the fridge.

Happy Crispy Christmas to you and your family – may your ice melt slowly, your prawn head break off easily and your feet never burn on the sand.

Moyra Major

Moyra Major  

Moyra has been a familiar voice on Gold Coast radio for over a decade. Throughout her career in radio she's had the pleasure of interviewing people from all over the globe and has even appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres Show in LA. She loves speaking in public, whether it be through the radio or in front of an audience. But she wasn't always very good at it. Moyra finetuned the skill, starting her own business, Major Confident, in 2015 to those like her who struggled to face an audience // www.majorconfident.com