In the upcoming weeks leading to Christmas we continue looking at the 10 ‘Life Changes’ supporting us to ‘Be Happier’. #1 was ‘Letting go of Toxic People in our Life’. #2 is ‘Letting go of Regret Around Past Mistakes’, or what we consider to be mistakes.
When asked the question, “How much regret do we have?” What is the answer? Some of us might think we hold onto nothing. Some of us know we hang onto too much. Deep down inside all of us there is possibly a tiny little gremlin called ‘regret’ winding it’s wicked way through our deep unconscious mind. Maybe we do and maybe we don’t. It’s what we want to do with the gremlin that is important. Today is the first day of the rest of our life and all is okay, because we are exactly where we are meant to be today. We simply need to make a decision based on how happy we want to be, any type of regret will take us further away from a great balanced and happy life.
Hanging onto regret eats us up. Literally it will cause our bodies to become ‘Dis-eased’, out of balance and heavy. This does not serve all those we love and care about, or most importantly ourselves. Regret will keep us stuck in the past, which is the last place to be, we are created for bigger things. When we give regret any space or time, it drags us back through drudge and sludge to ‘the event’, and all the emotions come flooding back. When we continue to rehash the event, it will not allow us to fully live our desired life. Choosing to live our life for today is a decision we make either consciously or unconsciously. Reliving the event and the pain and disappointment over and over again will age us, upset us, keep us stuck and ultimately cause us further pain. Does this sound familiar? Is it disheartening? Can we do something about it? Yes, we can.
As mentioned regularly, “If we want something different, we need to do something we have never done before.” It’s actually the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Even though we know this, how often have we found ourselves doing the same thing and then repeating it again and again?
Regretting anything is a waste of time because, at one time it was exactly what we wanted or we wouldn’t have done it. The choices we made in the moment of the event are our lessons in life.
As long as the lessons are learned we will grow and develop from any of the experiences we have chosen to go through. It’s when we don’t learn the lessons we tend to go back for more. It’s been said the universe does not give us anything we cannot handle. Events, accidents, issues, hiccups, and challenges all make us who we are today. Even the fun upbeat events, funny accidents, issues etc, all have an impact on evolving us to be our ‘Best’.
The word mistake is interesting in itself, what is a mistake? Is it something we did and we would choose to do differently next time, if this is the case then it’s a learning. Is it something we got wrong in a test, in a relationship, discussion, event, whilst baking a cake, fixing the car – whatever it is, is it really a mistake?
Some examples of this could be:
- A marriage ending in divorce or long term relationship splitting up – is everyone meant to stay with the same person forever? Do people change and grow apart? Do other people come into our lives and we never knew they would?
- Leaving a job and finding the new one isn’t what we thought it would be, and then moving on again to something amazing.
- Paying a lot of money for a pair of shoes and only wearing them once or twice because they were uncomfortable?
- Having a one night stand?
- Letting go of being sexually or physically abused.
- Smoking as a teenager?
- And the list goes on and on – because this is our life. Stuff happens, it’s about moving on and learning from the experience.
Tips for ‘letting go of regret around past events’:
- Thank the person we were in the relationship with for the fun times had. Remember the good times and work through transitioning to a new life. (Know others have done it before us and it is possible).
- Check the fuel gauge before going on a long trip next time. (Running out of fuel is inconvenient).
- Ask good specific questions to fully understand what we are getting into, business relationship, personal relationship, job etc.
- Listen to our intuition and trust the process, remembering we are in exactly the place we are meant to be in right now in this moment.
- Work with a coach if we need support through any change process.
- Get support from friends and family if we want to make a change. Ask what others have done in similar situations, this might also work for us as we can learn from others experiences.
Most importantly, make a decision to do something different to get on WITH LIVING OUR LIFE. Making a big life change is pretty scary. You, know what’s even scarier? REGRET.
“In the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”