Life situations can bring us down, take the wind out of our sails and stress us out; if we let them. Daily we are given hiccups, speed bumps, issues and challenges to deal with. “WHY?”, we might ask ourselves? Because life is life, and things are unpredictable, they just happen. Often these situations are caused by other people’s words and/or actions. We are unable to control anything other people think or do. It’s difficult and kinda crappy when we find ourselves in these turmoils, however they are with us and deal with them we must. A great tool is to stop and breathe because having steady breathing will have an overall calming effect. The next step from our calm space is to carefully consider our available options. In taking these little steps we are supporting ourself the best we can.
“Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all.”
– Deborah Day
Having control, ownership and responsibility for our situation we stay strong and focused on our best outcome. However, if we become affected and frozen in fear, anger, frustration, blame, disappointment and in the ‘Victim Mode’, it is impossible to see clearly and we struggle to be productive and move on. There is great empowerment in taking ownership for ourself.
To change gear, just like in a car, means to increase or decrease something, the car struggles to get up the mountain in 4th gear. Getting up the mountain requires a lower gear. Same with us, if we are struggling to get somewhere new or different, we need to change our thoughts and behaviour to give us a more acceptable outcome. A great question in these moments is, what different actions do we need to put in place right now to have different results?
Dr Wayne Dyer once said, “Change Your Thinking – Change Your World.” Change can be challenging, therefore having support is essential. It’s so easy for us to revert back to our old ways and it will often happen because we are very good at them and they are easy. If we revert back, we have what we are wanting to move on from. Same thought process and same actions = same results. “If nothing changes, nothing changes” unknown.
So, what do we want to change? This is key to our success for ‘Change’. We must get a clear visual, idea, goal or situation of what we want. Breathe it in, feel what it would be like to have this different situation, now reflect on what needs to be done to have it.
Tips for changing direction and being supported…
- Make a decision to change ‘the situation’,
- Know what we want it to look like, crystal clarity is supportive,
- Meet friend/s for coffee and a supportive chat, “Friends are like your backbone. They are always there when you need support.” anon
- Talk with a work colleague,
- Ask friends/support networks what they have done in this situation,
- Take a walk and consider all options – getting out of our familiar space helps with new thinking and just because we think about different options, doesn’t mean we have to use them. This process of considering ALL options helps new and different ones come up,
- Write a pro’s / con’s list – getting it on paper works wonders, gives clarity and creates new thoughts,
- Sleep on the decision,
- Seek out a Coach for accountability and solution focused conversations,
- Exercise – this creates chemical stimulus, giving new ideas and thoughts,
- Know there is more than one way of doing anything – sometimes we need to look outside the box.
- Bring in some FUN – put on music, dance around letting the creative juices flow and see what pops up; ideas and thoughts will start to go wild,
- Be prepared to accept the way we did it before may not be the way to do things now. What would be the worst thing to happen of we approached it differently from the way old way which didn’t work so well?
As Nike say, “Just Do It”.
“Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for support.”